There has been a lot going on, including Mary breaking her leg recently. I’ll update soon!
Been thinking about the Proverbs 31 woman (part 4)
4 04 2008“Work willingly with our hands” Proverbs 31:13
This particular part of the Provers 31 woman seems to go hand-in-hand with another:
“Provide for our family” Proverbs 31:21
I can’t say I’ve always had a very good work ethic – in fact, I would ditch work now if I didn’t have two kids to take care of. I liked being at home with my kids, doing whatever pleased me and them. Even still, I appreciate the work I do have, and take pride in being (usually) independent. Unfortunately, the money I make at my mediocre job isn’t paying my bills as quickly/easily as I’d like it to so, recently, I made the difficult decision to begin looking for a second job. It’s times like these that I wish there was a second income from a husband.
I applied at a local retail store I worked at from 2004-05 when I had to find work very quickly after my husband lost all of our income. They were willing to hire me on, but the work is extremely tiring and, after a lot of tossing and turning at night in bed, I decided to look elsewhere. Several of my family members work for a locally-owned restaurant, and I decided to use those connections to get a hostessing job there. Fortunately, this job should be relatively painless, and if I can find a better paying number one job (I’ve been looking for what seems like ages now) I’ll quit the second job. I don’t want to do this, but I need to – for now.
Imagine that – the girl who hates to work is going to be working TWO jobs now! I know, I can hardly believe it myself.
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Categories : Proverbs 31, Random thoughts
I know I’m an emotional eater
25 03 2008I have some real work to do. I knew it full well when I was eating that foot-long meatball sub from Subway today.
I can’t help but notice that when I am feeling any sort of negative emotion, I eat like there’s no tomorrow. I don’t eat to sustain my body; instead, I choose food to make myself feel better about not having/taking control of that particular situation.
My reason for the sub sandwich? After much thought, the sandwich is directly correlated to a woman in my life who is having marital trouble and is crossing over moral lines with no regard to who she is hurting. She is affecting me and the relationship I am trying to build with my boyfriend (they work together) and, while I trust him completely, I don’t trust her. I thought of her as a friend before, before I knew what kind of person she was/is; however, when I found out that she tried to put the moves on him a couple of months before she set he and I up for a date, I about lost it. I knew she had cheated on her husband before that time, and is currently doing so with yet another man, but to be so close to it really torks me off.
She and I had a discussion about laying off calling him 24/7 (she was calling him more than me!) and I thought it was settled. She continues to cross the line, by asking him for a ride home from work and asking to borrow his car. It also angers me that she continues to lie to everyone around her, and provide selective information to those who aren’t in a position to make an accurate judgement. My blood is boiling right now……….
I could go on forever about this “lady”, but I better not. Suffice it to say I need to start walking instead of eating a foot-long sandwich to express my negative emotions.
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Categories : Random thoughts
Romans 15:13
18 03 2008“May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.”
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Categories : Scripture
Life is good!
17 03 2008I’ve been dating someone for nearly two months now! It’s already been a life-changing experience, and I’m so glad I found someone nice. His name is David (Dave).
We drove to a tiny town about 10 minutes from Cripple Creek called Victor. This is where Jack Dempsey was raised. Apparently, his brother was the boxer to begin with (the family were miners), and at one point when he couldn’t fight, Jack stepped in for his brother. The rest is history! I took a couple of pictures there. The buildings were so run down and old… it was kinda cool to see all of it, and with people still living there!
On the way back into Cripple Creek to go back home, there was a point of interest where we pulled over and took some pictures of the view. It was DOUBLY AMAZING… all the blues and whites!!
I made my dad’s canoli recipe for dinner and Dave scarfed his down in no time. Of course, I told him this was a family recipe, so he wasn’t allowed to hate it anyway. Hehe! I made a salad and crescent rolls to go with it, and we had some wonderful cabernet sauvignon wine, too.
In other news, Dave met my kids for the first time yesterday. I lost my debit card at his house on Saturday, sometime before we went to Cripple Creek, so I had to go over there yesterday to help him look for it. Of course, Rob was with the kids and he was being a jerk, so I told him I’d take E with me. He insisted that it wouldn’t be fair to just take one child, so I ended up taking M, too. We got to Dave’s house, and Dave was soooooo sweet. He was very nice to the kids (not like I expected anything different) and told them that next time they come over they can play in the yard, or we can walk around the lake behind his house with our dog and play at the playground… the kids were very well-behaved and just adored him. I wanted to wait a bit longer for them to meet, but I’m really glad that it went so well yesterday. Yet another weight off my shoulders!!
Life is good. Happy St. Patty’s Day!
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Categories : Random thoughts
5 commandments of dating
25 01 2008by Jason Illian, excerpted from Undressed: The Naked Truth About Love, Sex, and Dating
Christians do many things well, but dating isn’t one of them. In fact, many of the fallacies prevalent in the dating world were created by Christians. We have been so overly zealous about modesty and purity that our faith often morphs into legalism, shaming everyone with unattainable standards of perfection. Many young adults desire a relationship with the Almighty but not at the cost of feeling guilty every single day of their lives because they long for human companionship. Even God said, “It is not good for man to be alone” and then He created Eve to be man’s partner (Genesis 2:18). The answer to the reckless and shameless dating often seen in America today isn’t found at the dogmatic, ultraconservative end of the spectrum. It is found in the balanced life, somewhere between everything and nothing, culture and faith, the place where Christ resides.
Despite what many of us have been taught, there is nothing inherently wrong with dating. But like any freedom—driving, voting, drinking—it can lead to disaster if you do it recklessly. Even though the Bible doesn’t specifically talk about dating, the Bible is a wonderful guide when it comes to interpersonal relationships. And if you think about it, dating is just one type of personal relationship. Dating gives us the opportunity to interact with a myriad of interesting people in a very unique way. Some people we will never see again, some will become friends, and some may become more. But in every instance, we have the opportunity to learn more about ourselves and about the diversity of humanity.
The purpose of dating is to find the “right one” with whom to spend the rest of your life. If you simply want to have fun, meet interesting people, or learn about yourself, don’t do it within the context of dating. There is a time and place for these types of experiences, and it is called friendship. Just make friends with some people of the opposite sex if your goal is to learn and grow. Although dating sounds like an ideal way to simply shop around for Mr. Right, it is too easy to get emotionally and physically involved. And if you date with the goal of self-improvement or self-satisfaction, there is a very good chance that you’re going to get hurt or you’re going to hurt someone else. Dating should have a purpose—to learn who and how to love.
Read the rest of the article here.
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Categories : Articles
The messy art of living alone
24 01 2008
I’m dying to show someone my bedroom closet. It’s a well-organized thing of beauty.
At least, for right now.
During my recent two days home sick from work—battling a bone-rattling cough and hiding out from Chicagoland’s negative-14-degree weather—I got the sudden urge to purge the clutter from my bedroom closet and kitchen cabinets.
I have to be in the right frame of mind to sort with true effectiveness. That frame of mind is somewhere between Army drill sergeant and Peace Corps volunteer. I need to be ruthless, fighting the temptation to hang onto that gaudy blouse because I once received a compliment while wearing it. And I need to be benevolent, thinking of all the needy people who could drink from the 57 mugs I’ve somehow collected over the years.
However, this mindset strikes me with the frequency of a lunar eclipse. So when the urge hits, I need to just go with it—copious amounts of phlegm or not.
I used to experience this mindset more frequently when I had a roommate. Actually, I think the mindset was less of a motivator than was my pride—either saving my pride in not wanting my roommate to see me as messy, or boosting my pride in having her oooh and ahhh over my work.
So the other day when I stepped back to admire my closet-cleaning handiwork, I wanted to turn to someone and say, “Am I impressive, or what?” But then, to truly appreciate my achievement, my companion would have needed to see the “before,” with shoes and purses obscuring the floor and an extra 87 hangers clogging up the works. I’d gathered up four trash bags of clothes, shoes, and purses to give away. And then I’d moved on to the kitchen and gathered another two bags of mugs and Tupperware containers. (I’m convinced some of these objects mate and multiply when I’m not looking.)
My strange need for a witness reminded me of that old philosophical question asking whether a tree falling in a forest really makes a sound if no one’s around to hear it. Suddenly I found myself wondering, If a single person cleans out a closet and no one’s around to woohoo it, does the accomplishment really count?
Instead of an adoring audience, I was alone, clapping over my cleanliness . . . and vowing not to shop again for months.
Read the rest of the article here.
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Categories : Articles
My first date in a long time
24 01 2008A friend of mine from the mothers internet board I belong to is trying to set me up with a co-worker of hers.
I had been emailing and chatting with him online to begin with, mostly because I was nervous about talking to him since I haven’t really been “dating” for so long. I’m not sure how long we talked the first time on the phone last weekend, but he did answer some questions I had posed to him in a previous email. It was light-hearted and he laughed a lot – he seems to do that, and right now it’s hard to tell whether it’s nervous laughter or something else. Guess I’ll find out when I meet him. One of the questions I asked him had something to do with his biggest pet peeve. He said he guessed he had two, and one really struck an “uh-oh” chord with me: he said (in basic translation) he likes to keep a tidy house. Yeah, um, that’s not me in the slightest. Has anyone been to my house? Has anyone been in my car? Definite “uh-oh” there! Hmmm…
The longest conversation we’ve had went on for about hour two days ago. I found out so much more about him than he had been letting on in previous conversations, and that makes me feel good… almost like he’s able to trust me, which is huge, considering where he’s come from the past couple of years.
He told me I can call him anytime – this after I originally texted him asking if I could call because I couldn’t sleep. I told him I didn’t want to be a pest, and he assured me I wouldn’t be a pest if I called. Very cool.
We’re supposed to meet this Sunday afternoon. I like that I have been brave enough to put myself out there, and I’m feeling comfortable that Sunday’s meeting will go well just because we have already started building a rapport with each other. If this works out, I will have my friend to thank.
If it doesn’t work out to be a match in relationship standards, I hope I will have made a wonderful new friend. Only time will tell.
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Categories : Random thoughts
Barack Obama’s speech at Dr. King’s church
21 01 2008Atlanta, GA | January 20, 2008
The Scripture tells us that when Joshua and the Israelites arrived at the gates of Jericho, they could not enter. The walls of the city were too steep for any one person to climb; too strong to be taken down with brute force. And so they sat for days, unable to pass on through.
But God had a plan for his people. He told them to stand together and march together around the city, and on the seventh day he told them that when they heard the sound of the ram’s horn, they should speak with one voice. And at the chosen hour, when the horn sounded and a chorus of voices cried out together, the mighty walls of Jericho came tumbling down.
There are many lessons to take from this passage, just as there are many lessons to take from this day, just as there are many memories that fill the space of this church. As I was thinking about which ones we need to remember at this hour, my mind went back to the very beginning of the modern Civil Rights Era.
Because before Memphis and the mountaintop; before the bridge in Selma and the march on Washington; before Birmingham and the beatings; the fire hoses and the loss of those four little girls; before there was King the icon and his magnificent dream, there was King the young preacher and a people who found themselves suffering under the yoke of oppression.
And on the eve of the bus boycotts in Montgomery, at a time when many were still doubtful about the possibilities of change, a time when those in the black community mistrusted themselves, and at times mistrusted each other, King inspired with words not of anger, but of an urgency that still speaks to us today:
“Unity is the great need of the hour” is what King said. Unity is how we shall overcome.
What Dr. King understood is that if just one person chose to walk instead of ride the bus, those walls of oppression would not be moved. But maybe if a few more walked, the foundation might start to shake. If a few more women were willing to do what Rosa Parks had done, maybe the cracks would start to show. If teenagers took freedom rides from North to South, maybe a few bricks would come loose. Maybe if white folks marched because they had come to understand that their freedom too was at stake in the impending battle, the wall would begin to sway. And if enough Americans were awakened to the injustice; if they joined together, North and South, rich and poor, Christian and Jew, then perhaps that wall would come tumbling down, and justice would flow like water, and righteousness like a mighty stream.
Unity is the great need of the hour — the great need of this hour. Not because it sounds pleasant or because it makes us feel good, but because it’s the only way we can overcome the essential deficit that exists in this country.
I’m not talking about a budget deficit. I’m not talking about a trade deficit. I’m not talking about a deficit of good ideas or new plans.
I’m talking about a moral deficit. I’m talking about an empathy deficit. I’m taking about an inability to recognize ourselves in one another; to understand that we are our brother’s keeper; we are our sister’s keeper; that, in the words of Dr. King, we are all tied together in a single garment of destiny.
We have an empathy deficit when we’re still sending our children down corridors of shame — schools in the forgotten corners of America where the color of your skin still affects the content of your education.
We have a deficit when CEOs are making more in ten minutes than some workers make in ten months; when families lose their homes so that lenders make a profit; when mothers can’t afford a doctor when their children get sick.
We have a deficit in this country when there is Scooter Libby justice for some and Jena justice for others; when our children see nooses hanging from a schoolyard tree today, in the present, in the twenty-first century.
We have a deficit when homeless veterans sleep on the streets of our cities; when innocents are slaughtered in the deserts of Darfur; when young Americans serve tour after tour of duty in a war that should’ve never been authorized and never been waged.
And we have a deficit when it takes a breach in our levees to reveal a breach in our compassion; when it takes a terrible storm to reveal the hungry that God calls on us to feed; the sick He calls on us to care for; the least of these He commands that we treat as our own.
So we have a deficit to close. We have walls — barriers to justice and equality — that must come down. And to do this, we know that unity is the great need of this hour.
Unfortunately, all too often when we talk about unity in this country, we’ve come to believe that it can be purchased on the cheap. We’ve come to believe that racial reconciliation can come easily — that it’s just a matter of a few ignorant people trapped in the prejudices of the past, and that if the demagogues and those who exploit our racial divisions will simply go away, then all our problems would be solved.
All too often, we seek to ignore the profound institutional barriers that stand in the way of ensuring opportunity for all children, or decent jobs for all people, or health care for those who are sick. We long for unity, but are unwilling to pay the price.
But of course, true unity cannot be so easily won. It starts with a change in attitudes — a broadening of our minds, and a broadening of our hearts.
It’s not easy to stand in somebody else’s shoes. It’s not easy to see past our differences. We’ve all encountered this in our own lives. But what makes it even more difficult is that we have a politics in this country that seeks to drive us apart — that puts up walls between us.
We are told that those who differ from us on a few things are different from us on all things; that our problems are the fault of those who don’t think like us or look like us or come from where we do. The welfare queen is taking our tax money. The immigrant is taking our jobs. The believer condemns the non-believer as immoral, and the non-believer chides the believer as intolerant.
For most of this country’s history, we in the African-American community have been at the receiving end of man’s inhumanity to man. And all of us understand intimately the insidious role that race still sometimes plays — on the job, in the schools, in our health care system, and in our criminal justice system.
And yet, if we are honest with ourselves, we must admit that none of our hands are entirely clean. If we’re honest with ourselves, we’ll acknowledge that our own community has not always been true to King’s vision of a beloved community.
We have scorned our gay brothers and sisters instead of embracing them. The scourge of anti-Semitism has, at times, revealed itself in our community. For too long, some of us have seen immigrants as competitors for jobs instead of companions in the fight for opportunity.
Every day, our politics fuels and exploits this kind of division across all races and regions; across gender and party. It is played out on television. It is sensationalized by the media. And last week, it even crept into the campaign for President, with charges and counter-charges that served to obscure the issues instead of illuminating the critical choices we face as a nation.
So let us say that on this day of all days, each of us carries with us the task of changing our hearts and minds. The division, the stereotypes, the scape-goating, the ease with which we blame our plight on others — all of this distracts us from the common challenges we face — war and poverty; injustice and inequality. We can no longer afford to build ourselves up by tearing someone else down. We can no longer afford to traffic in lies or fear or hate. It is the poison that we must purge from our politics; the wall that we must tear down before the hour grows too late.
Because if Dr. King could love his jailor; if he could call on the faithful who once sat where you do to forgive those who set dogs and fire hoses upon them, then surely we can look past what divides us in our time, and bind up our wounds, and erase the empathy deficit that exists in our hearts.
But if changing our hearts and minds is the first critical step, we cannot stop there. It is not enough to bemoan the plight of poor children in this country and remain unwilling to push our elected officials to provide the resources to fix our schools. It is not enough to decry the disparities of health care and yet allow the insurance companies and the drug companies to block much-needed reforms. It is not enough for us to abhor the costs of a misguided war, and yet allow ourselves to be driven by a politics of fear that sees the threat of attack as way to scare up votes instead of a call to come together around a common effort.
The Scripture tells us that we are judged not just by word, but by deed. And if we are to truly bring about the unity that is so crucial in this time, we must find it within ourselves to act on what we know; to understand that living up to this country’s ideals and its possibilities will require great effort and resources; sacrifice and stamina.
And that is what is at stake in the great political debate we are having today. The changes that are needed are not just a matter of tinkering at the edges, and they will not come if politicians simply tell us what we want to hear. All of us will be called upon to make some sacrifice. None of us will be exempt from responsibility. We will have to fight to fix our schools, but we will also have to challenge ourselves to be better parents. We will have to confront the biases in our criminal justice system, but we will also have to acknowledge the deep-seated violence that still resides in our own communities and marshal the will to break its grip.
That is how we will bring about the change we seek. That is how Dr. King led this country through the wilderness. He did it with words — words that he spoke not just to the children of slaves, but the children of slave owners. Words that inspired not just black but also white; not just the Christian but the Jew; not just the Southerner but also the Northerner.
He led with words, but he also led with deeds. He also led by example. He led by marching and going to jail and suffering threats and being away from his family. He led by taking a stand against a war, knowing full well that it would diminish his popularity. He led by challenging our economic structures, understanding that it would cause discomfort. Dr. King understood that unity cannot be won on the cheap; that we would have to earn it through great effort and determination.
That is the unity — the hard-earned unity — that we need right now. It is that effort, and that determination, that can transform blind optimism into hope — the hope to imagine, and work for, and fight for what seemed impossible before.
The stories that give me such hope don’t happen in the spotlight. They don’t happen on the presidential stage. They happen in the quiet corners of our lives. They happen in the moments we least expect. Let me give you an example of one of those stories.
There is a young, twenty-three year old white woman named Ashley Baia who organizes for our campaign in Florence, South Carolina. She’s been working to organize a mostly African-American community since the beginning of this campaign, and the other day she was at a roundtable discussion where everyone went around telling their story and why they were there.
And Ashley said that when she was nine years old, her mother got cancer. And because she had to miss days of work, she was let go and lost her health care. They had to file for bankruptcy, and that’s when Ashley decided that she had to do something to help her mom.
She knew that food was one of their most expensive costs, and so Ashley convinced her mother that what she really liked and really wanted to eat more than anything else was mustard and relish sandwiches. Because that was the cheapest way to eat.
She did this for a year until her mom got better, and she told everyone at the roundtable that the reason she joined our campaign was so that she could help the millions of other children in the country who want and need to help their parents too.
So Ashley finishes her story and then goes around the room and asks everyone else why they’re supporting the campaign. They all have different stories and reasons. Many bring up a specific issue. And finally they come to this elderly black man who’s been sitting there quietly the entire time. And Ashley asks him why he’s there. And he does not bring up a specific issue. He does not say health care or the economy. He does not say education or the war. He does not say that he was there because of Barack Obama. He simply says to everyone in the room, “I am here because of Ashley.”
By itself, that single moment of recognition between that young white girl and that old black man is not enough. It is not enough to give health care to the sick, or jobs to the jobless, or education to our children.
But it is where we begin. It is why the walls in that room began to crack and shake.
And if they can shake in that room, they can shake in Atlanta.
And if they can shake in Atlanta, they can shake in Georgia.
And if they can shake in Georgia, they can shake all across America. And if enough of our voices join together; we can bring those walls tumbling down. The walls of Jericho can finally come tumbling down. That is our hope — but only if we pray together, and work together, and march together.
Brothers and sisters, we cannot walk alone.
In the struggle for peace and justice, we cannot walk alone.
In the struggle for opportunity and equality, we cannot walk alone
In the struggle to heal this nation and repair this world, we cannot walk alone.
So I ask you to walk with me, and march with me, and join your voice with mine, and together we will sing the song that tears down the walls that divide us, and lift up an America that is truly indivisible, with liberty, and justice, for all. May God bless the memory of the great pastor of this church, and may God bless the United States of America.
See the video here.
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Categories : Articles
Lessons in life
18 01 2008By Regina Brett, The Plain Dealer, Cleveland, Ohio
To celebrate growing older, I once wrote the lessons life taught me. It is the most-requested column I’ve ever written.
1. Life isn’t fair, but it’s still good.
2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.
3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
4. Don’t take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
5. Pay off your credit cards every month.
6. You don’t have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
7. Cry with someone. It’s more healing than crying alone.
8. It’s OK t o get angry with God. He can take it.
9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.
10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.
11. Make peace with your past so it won’t screw up the present.
12. It’s OK to let your children see you cry.
13. Don’t compare your life to others’. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn’t be in it.
15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don’t worry; God never blinks.
16. Life is too short for long pity parties. Get busy living, or get busy dying.
17. You can get through anything if you stay put in today.
18. A writer writes. If you want to be a writer, write.
19. It’s never too late to have a happy childhood, but the second one is up to you & no one else.
20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don’t take no for an answer.
21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie.
Don’t save it for a special occasion. Today is special.
22. Over-prepare, then go with the flow.
23. Be eccentric now. Don’t wait for old age to wear purple.
24. The most important sex organ is the brain.
25. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
27. Always choose life.
28. Forgive everyone.
29. What other people think of you is none of your business.
30. Time heals almost everything. Give time, time.
31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
32. Your job won’t take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.
33. Believe in miracles.
34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn’t do.
35. Whatever doesn’t kill you really does make you stronger.
36. Growing old beats the alternative — dying young.
37. Your children get only one childhood. Make it memorable.
38. Read some good books. They cover every human emotion.
39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.
40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else’s, we’d grab ours back.
41. Don’t audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.
42. Get rid of anything that isn’t useful, beautiful, or joyful.
43. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.
44. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
45. The best is yet to come.
46. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up, and show up.
47. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.
48. If you don’t ask, you don’t get.
49. Yield.
50. Life isn’t tied with a bow, but it’s still a gift.
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Categories : Articles