Entertaining on a budget

Found another post today on the NazNet forums that sparked a thought or two. Jim Franklin posed the question:

“How often do you have friends and relatives into your home?”

My response:

“Not often enough. With my tight budget, I seem to think I can’t “afford” to have friends and family over. I’m silly.”

The post got me thinking… is there a way to entertain on a very tight budget? After all, I’d really like to have friends and family over to my place more often. So, I set out to scour the best ideas for entertaining on a budget… I have no excuse to not entertain in my home, because here’s what I found.

My all-time favorite lady, Rachael Ray, has a great menu for an inexpensive New Year’s Eve bash (I’d totally use this one for any bash, though!):

Low-Budget New Year’s Bash

She also has plenty of other easy party ideas – check them out here on her website, or subscribe to her magazine !

Being Virtuous Women shares:

Entertaining doesn’t have to be extravagant, expensive or a huge ordeal.

Good Ol’-Fashioned Cook Out

Have guests bring their lawn chairs, their choice of meat (enough for their family) to cook over an open fire or a grill, and a dish to pass for a lovely time of fellowshipping in the great outdoors. Things you may provide for your guests: condiments, drinks (such as: water, iced tea, and lemonade) and a dessert.

Ice Cream Hymn-Sing

What is more heavenly than to hear the Lord’s people gathering together to sing of the goodness of their King? Invite friends over for an evening of singing and afterwards a time of fellowship over a bowl of ice cream (buckets of ice cream can be gotten for very little cost or you can make homemade ice cream!). You can also provide lemonade and iced tea to drink, if you so desire.

Game Night

I don’t know about your family, but we love to play games! On several occasions we have enjoyed inviting families over for a night of games and popcorn. Again, you can also provide lemonade and iced tea, if you so desire.

Potluck Dinner

You may desire to have someone over for dinner after church. Why not have them bring their Sunday dinner over to your home and you can enjoy your Sunday meals together? Things you may provide: rolls, dessert, drinks.

Chef Michele has some more ideas:

Keep It Casual – Plan simple fare. Opt for a simpler meal rather than a fancy multi course affair.

Check your stock – Take a look in your pantry and see what you have on hand before you plan your menu. Plan your meal around such staples as pastas, rice or beans.

Check the sale flyers – See what your local grocers have on sale, this is a great way to make the most of seasonal items. It is also the best way to cut down the cost of more expensive items such as meats and cheeses.

Go vegetarian – Serve your guests a meatless meal. Not only can vegetarian meals be less expensive, they are healthier and lighter too. The highest priced items for many recipes such as meats, cheese, sour cream and cream or butter are often the most unhealthy.

Ease up on the appetizers – Have your meal almost ready to serve when guests arrive and prepare only one simple appetizer.

Serve a simple dessert – Seasonal fresh fruit with a simple topping of homemade whipped cream is not only elegant, it is good for you and a welcome refreshment to a full stomach.

Be creative – If you need to decorate for your dinner party, visit a local dollar store. You can find everything from candles, beautiful decorative vases, and dishes. Keep things simple yet elegant.

Bella Online’s guest author, Rhonda Cliett, offered these tips:

Plan your menu at least a week ahead of time, if possible.

Watch the store sales flyers and make adjustments to your menu according to what is on sale that week.

When planning your menu, take advantage of items that you already have on hand. If you previously stocked up on lasagna noodles, now would be the time to use them.

If your guests ask what they can bring don’t give them the standard “just yourself.” Instead, let them bring an item from your menu. Easy items for guests to bring are: wine, loaf of bread or rolls, gourmet sodas or teas, fruit juice, vegetable tray, fruit and cheese tray, relish tray, dips, or ice.

Make sure some of your items can be prepared a day or two ahead of time. If all of your items have to be prepared on the day of the party you might be tempted to use too many expensive convenient items rather than preparing items inexpensively from scratch.

If one of your guests has special dietary needs, take this into consideration when planning your menu for the entire party. It is less expensive to prepare a sugar free dessert for the entire party rather than to prepare two desserts, one sugar free and one not.

Your main dish does not have to be made from the most expensive ingredients. Many people feel they have not adequately prepared a meal if the main dish is anything less than lobster and caviar, for instance. If you really must serve an ingredient such as lobster, include it in the salad or in a vegetable dish. This will allow you to buy less of the expensive ingredient.

Take advantage of seasonal fruits and vegetables. They not only will add more freshness to your meal, but they will be less expensive since they are in-season.

Most importantly, keep a list of inexpensive recipes and menu ideas handy. Obviously, the best way to cut costs on your entertaining is to prepare foods that are relatively inexpensive. Having the recipes already on hand will not only save you time but it will prevent you from being tempted to prepare more expensive dishes because you cannot find anything else.

God has a positive answer

While I was visiting the NazNet forums just now, I came across a post by Joanne Vergin that really spoke to me. God has a positive answer for everything.

You say:	God says:
It’s impossible	All things are possible (Luke 18:27)
I’m too tired	I will give you rest (Matthew 11:28-30)
Nobody really loves me	I love you (John 3:1 6 & John 3:34)
I can’t go on	My grace is sufficient (II Corinthians 12:9 & Psalm 91:15)
I can’t figure things out	I will direct your steps (Proverbs 3:5- 6)
I can’t do it	You can do all things (Philippians 4:13)
I’m not able	I am able (II Corinthians 9:8)
It’s not worth it	It will be worth it (Romans 8:28)
I can’t forgive myself	I forgive you (I John 1:9 & Romans 8:1)
I can’t manage	I will supply all your needs (Philippians 4:19)
I’m afraid	I have not given you a spirit of fear (II Timothy 1:7)
I’m always worried/frustrated	Cast all your cares on ME (I Peter 5:7)
I’m not smart enough	I give you wisdom (I Corinthians 1:30)
I feel all alone	I will never leave you or forsake you (Hebrews 13:5)

Sick of Christmas? Move it to June.

Break out the burgers and fruit cake–why celebrating the beloved holiday in summer will help connect us to Christ.

By Fr. James Martin

This Thanksgiving, I saw an ad for Kohl’s department store, announcing that they would be open early the next day. At four in the morning! At that point, I decided to throw my shoe at the television set. However, since it was my sister’s television (and a plasma one at that) I refrained from any public display of anger. Besides, my nephew was in the middle of a sixteen-hour cartoon marathon, and I feared disrupting him, much as you would fear waking a sleepwalker.

As a Catholic priest, I like Christmas as much as the next person—maybe a little more. Only a Scrooge couldn’t find joy in Christmas carols, Christmas cheer, and Christmas Mass. But as an American, I find the holiday has become almost an endurance test. Only a saint could maintain the patience needed to confront Christmas shopping, Christmas stress, and Christmas credit card bills.

I get tired of lamenting the same thing every year. So this year I’m taking action. Thus my modest proposal: Move Christmas to June.

Read the rest of the article here.

Merry Christmas!

My parents are here from New Jersey, and I’m excited about their time here. For about a week, they will stay with my brother and his family; the rest of the time they are here will be spent with me and my kids. My parents moved to the east coast about two years ago – it’s become easier building a relationship with them as they’ve been gone, but I miss being able to drive “home” and hug them.

Pretty soon, I’ll take a shower and get ready to pick up my kids from their dad’s house before we run off to church and Christmas Eve dinner at my grandmother’s house. This is my dad’s side of the family, and it’s always a big affair as my dad is the second child of six. It’s a pretty interesting turn of events, because both my grandparents are only children. I have nine cousins on this side of my family (add to that the six children from my mom and dad), so there are 15 grandchildren and four great-grandchildren. We’re going to have a packed house!

Here’s hoping all of you have a very merry Christmas and a prosperous New Year.

Luke 2:16-20 “So they hurried off and found Mary and Joseph, and the baby, who was lying in the manger. When they had seen him, they spread the word concerning what had been told them about this child, and all who heard it were amazed at what the shepherds said to them. But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart. The shepherds returned, glorifying and praising God for all the things they had heard and seen, which were just as they had been told.” Brought to you by BibleGateway.com. Copyright (C) NIV. All Rights Reserved.

Looking for a good man…

I joined eharmony the other day.

According to the website, “eHarmony is America’s #1 trusted relationship service. The company was founded by one of America’s most well known relationship experts, best-selling author and clinical psychologist Dr. Neil Clark Warren.

In 2000, backed by over 35 years of clinical and empirical research, Dr. Warren transformed the way singles are introduced online when he launched eHarmony – the first relationship service on the Web to use a scientific approach to match highly compatible singles. Millions of people of all ages, ethnicities, and religious backgrounds have used eHarmony’s patented Compatibility Matching System™ to find the love of their lives.

In fact, recent research presented at the American Psychological Society found that eHarmony married couples are significantly happier than couples married for a similar length of time who met by other means.

Building on its enormous success matching compatible singles, eHarmony launched a revolutionary new service in 2006 to help couples achieve stronger, healthier and happier marriages. eHarmony Marriage is a personalized, interactive, online “marriage wellness” program designed to help marriages flourish by building a deepened sense of understanding, appreciation and connectedness. eHarmony Marriage gives every couple the opportunity to look at their marriage objectively and increase the joy and intimacy in a private, practical and positive program.”

It’s been quite interesting thus far. I’ve been “introduced” to quite a number of men in the little time I’ve been a member there, and most of them aren’t that bad! I don’t know what I was expecting, but it seems to be a very good process… much better than what I’ve seen on other on-line dating sites.

I’m still pondering if this is an effective way to meet quality men. Sure, I “meet” people on-line (mostly a local mothers group) and talk about my life, but the purpose for relationship building is completely different than looking for a compatible partner. With on-line “dating”, you have to worry about psychos… and now that I have children, I have to be even more careful about what I am doing and with whom.

I guess I’m smart enough to keep my eyes wide open, and make wise decisions… so I’ll give it a whirl. I plan on being very cautious about the process, but feel it’s definitely time to move forward with meeting new people and getting on with my life.

Here’s what I have for my profile, it’s a work in progress…

1. What are you most passionate about? I am most passionate about music.

2. What are the THREE things for which you are MOST thankful? My children, my family, my job.

3. Other than your parents, who has been the most influential person in your life and why? My friend, Beth. We have been friends for over 15 years, and she knows me almost as well as my mother.

4. The four things your friends say about you are: caring, loyal, good listener, funny.

5. What are three of your BEST life-skills? Using humor to make friends laugh, raising and/or caring for children, being a good friend and companion.

6. What is the most important quality that you are looking for in another person? Honesty.

7. Other than your appearance, what is the first thing that people notice about you? I’m bubbly!

8. What is the ONE thing that people DON’T notice about you right away that you WISH they WOULD? I’m a smart cookie.

9. How do you typically spend your leisure time? I enjoy being with my friends in my spare time.

10. What are five things that you “can’t live without?” My kids, music, my computer, friends, family.

11. Describe the last book that you read and enjoyed. What was it about? What did you like most about it? A book entitled _This is Not Chick Lit_… it’s a compilation of stories written by various authors.

12. Describe one thing about yourself that only your best friends know. I sing karaoke. Ha!

13. Is there any additional information you would like your matches to know about you? I have a dry sense of humor at times.

Been thinking about the Proverbs 31 woman (part 2)

“Prepare healthy food for our household” Proverbs 31:15

One of my downfalls as a parent is my lack of enthusiasm for cooking when I arrive home after a long day at work and driving to and from the kids’ schools. I’d much rather pick up something from the local fast-food joint and relax for the rest of the evening. Unfortunately, I know I am not helping myself or my kids stay on track as far as nutrition is concerned; also, fast-food “seems” cheap, but in the end it adds up.

I have but two questions at this time:

How can one eat well on a strict (read: small) budget?
What small steps can I take now that will lead me in the right direction?

Help your child behave

by Veola Vazquez

Good behavior from children makes parents happy. But children often don’t behave the way we’d like them to because they need our help. You might have found yourself in situations such as these:

Frustrated, you give in to your child’s whining for candy while in the checkout line. Tired of telling your child to clean up her room, you do it yourself. Afraid of saying no too often, you allow your child to misbehave.

How can you help your child behave nicely without giving in or giving up? Focusing on what children do right helps them to stop doing what’s wrong. Follow these guidelines to encourage positive behavior. You’ll be on your way to more peaceful days and a better relationship with your child.

Catch her doing what you want. Keep a watchful eye on your child. When you find her doing something you want her to do, give plenty of praise. Affirmation will encourage her to keep up the positive behavior.

Ignore minor infractions. Often simply ignoring negative behavior can make it go away. However, never ignore behavior that is dangerous to the child or to others.

Say yes as much as possible. Parents say no several times a day but fail to say yes when they have the opportunity. Choose your battles wisely, allowing your child more freedom while maintaining limits.

Phrase commands in a positive way. Children respond better to commands that are specific. State what you want rather than what you don’t want. Instead of saying, “Stop running,” say, “You need to walk.”

Be consistent. You want your child to know what to expect from you. Inconsistency confuses children and leads to further misbehavior.

Effective Praise

Praising a child correctly is important to the development of positive behaviors. Most experts agree that if you aren’t praising your child for something every day, you and your child are missing out on an important “good-behavior-booster.” Follow these six steps to make sure your praise is effective:

Watch for praiseworthy behaviors. Don’t try to praise everything your child does. Wait for unexpected or previously unnoticed good behavior and praise your child for it.

Praise immediately. As soon as you notice a positive behavior, make sure you mention it to your child.

Look your child in the eye. She is more likely to recognize and accept your words of praise if your eyes are focused on her.

Touch your child. Your praise is more powerful when given in conjunction with a hug, a touch on the arm or a caress of the cheek.

Be specific. State exactly what you find worthy of praise. For example, “You were very patient while we were in the store. I am proud of you.”

Don’t follow praise with negative comments. Make sure you allow praise to sink in before you discipline for misbehavior.

Ignoring Bad Behavior

Ignoring negative behaviors can be tricky. Expect the following sequence of events:

1. Behavior worsens. Don’t worry; this is normal.

2. Behavior becomes unbearable. Once your child realizes that she no longer receives negative attention for her negative behavior, she will “up the ante.” Don’t give up at this point. If you do, the unbearable behavior will more than likely continue.

3. Negative behavior decreases.

Effective Commands

Look your child in the eye. Get down on their level if needed.

Be specific. For example, “Pick up the dirty clothes in your bedroom and put them in the washer.”

Give only one command at a time.

Make commands time-limited. Each instruction must be completed by a specified time. For instance, “Pick up the dirty clothes in your bedroom and put them in the washer before we eat dinner.”

State the consequences for not following instructions.

Follow through on consequences if instructions are not followed.

Read the rest of the article here.

Our family’s “angels”

The other day, while I was picking M up from daycare, I was stopped by the Director and informed of a friend who had visited her earlier that day to see if there was a family in need this Christmas season.  The Director told me that there were a few other families that had crossed her mind, but the Lord kept putting my name front and center.  She told me to call her friend, if I was so inclined. I thanked her and gave her a hug.

I have to admit: at first I was a little embarrassed. I have never been one of “those” people who was “sponsored” or “adopted” for Christmas. I am too proud, I suppose, and all I could think of was what people would say if they knew. Then, I realized what a blessing it would be. I can’t afford to buy my kids presents this year… their dad bought everything, and he is going to put both of our names (and Santa) on all of the gifts. Of course, they’ll have gifts from other family members, but what a special time for them to have special guests (we’re calling them “angels”) come to your home with lots of gifts (practical and fun) to make the holiday that much sweeter. For a child in a single parent household, that sort of happiness is hard to come by.

Anyway, I just wanted to say how grateful I am that God sent them to us this year, and I hope we are able to do the same for a family next season.

Been thinking about the Proverbs 31 woman (part 1)

I’ve recently become somewhat fascinated with Proverbs 31, and have thought, “Could I ever be that woman?” Re-reading my post regarding being a virtuous woman, I am forced to look at how I am living my life. I’ll take it a bit at a time – let’s review, shall we?

“Train our children in the ways of the Lord” Proverbs 22:6

When my son was born, maybe even in the months before he was born, I decided to raise my child as a Christian – a Roman Catholic. I hadn’t been to church in ages, and I was what “they” call a “cafeteria Catholic”… but it was important to me that my child know God and I was going to use this as an opportunity for myself, as well, to get to know God and what He was “about”. What I found was, after baptizing my son in the Catholic church, I still really didn’t know God, and I wasn’t even close to knowing. I still had so many questions that weren’t answered. I ended up not participating in the church I grew up in, and “fell away” for a couple of years, until my daughter was born. I went through the same convictions of raising my child to know God… and I failed miserably at following through. According to the Catholic faith, children are to be baptized as babies – my daughter is four years old now, and has never been baptized.

Two years after my daughter was born, my life became increasingly difficult with a spouse who was mentally ill and refused treatment and counseling, and we ended up seperating. It was going to be a long ride through Hell, really, and I’m just now learning how to ease away from all the backdraft.

I ended up checking out a local church that I knew some family friends had been attending for many years, and found out a good friend of mine from school was attending, as well. I contacted my friend, and decided I would come check out a service soon. I LOVED IT!! I didn’t know what a Nazarene was, but I knew I loved the fellowship and the message; my kids were able to experience the joy of learning about God and Jesus during their time in the children’s ministry while I was in the “big church”. It made me feel good that I was doing something right for them and for me – for our family.

I was so on fire, I (almost immediately) joined the church choir, and had my kids going to the children’s ministry activity Wednesday nights. I considered becoming a member, and inquired about the next membership class, which I attended just a month or two after I started attending the church. During and after the class, I realized that it was exactly what I was looking for. There was only one thing I didn’t understand (quite honestly, I think I will be spending some quality time with my pastor and other trusted friends over the next segment of my life trying to understand/rehash this particular question, anyway), but everything else was like a whole new world to me that I wasn’t able to see as a member of a Catholic church! It was like a burden had been lifted. It was a good day for me, and it was a good start at being a godly family.

Unfortunately, all this will have been in vain if I do not pull myself together. I have such a long way to go with my life if I want to consider myself a Proverbs 31 woman, and not praising the Lord with everything I do is not going to get me there… in my eyes, or in His. I just feel so tainted at times, maybe I’m too far gone. No, I don’t believe that is the case, I don’t believe anyone can be that far gone, but it seems like such a daunting journey for me… can a woman have all the qualities of the woman described in Proverbs 31 even if she has never been that way? I want to be a fine example for my children (most especially for my daughter), I just don’t know where to begin.

Feeling guilty

I’ve been feeling really guilty lately because I have been to (maybe) one church service since right before my high school reunion this past October. It’s not that I don’t want to go, it’s the fact that my life has been really busy these past few months, and I haven’t always had the gas to get there. I still feel guilty. I ended up missing last weekend, even after I told my friend I would be there, and the kids and I missed the Wednesday activities (kids ministry and adult choir practice), too.

I’m afraid if I don’t get back in the swing of things, I won’t return… because there will always be a excuse, you know? I want to be on fire, I want my kids to be on fire, too… it seems I need to put myself in check again.