There has been a lot going on, including Mary breaking her leg recently.  I’ll update soon!

“Work willingly with our hands” Proverbs 31:13

This particular part of the Provers 31 woman seems to go hand-in-hand with another:

“Provide for our family” Proverbs 31:21

I can’t say I’ve always had a very good work ethic – in fact, I would ditch work now if I didn’t have two kids to take care of.  I liked being at home with my kids, doing whatever pleased me and them.  Even still, I appreciate the work I do have, and take pride in being (usually) independent.  Unfortunately, the money I make at my mediocre job isn’t paying my bills as quickly/easily as I’d like it to so, recently, I made the difficult decision to begin looking for a second job.  It’s times like these that I wish there was a second income from a husband.

I applied at a local retail store I worked at from 2004-05 when I had to find work very quickly after my husband lost all of our income.  They were willing to hire me on, but the work is extremely tiring and, after a lot of tossing and turning at night in bed, I decided to look elsewhere.  Several of my family members work for a locally-owned restaurant, and I decided to use those connections to get a hostessing job there.  Fortunately, this job should be relatively painless, and if I can find a better paying number one job (I’ve been looking for what seems like ages now) I’ll quit the second job.  I don’t want to do this, but I need to – for now.

Imagine that – the girl who hates to work is going to be working TWO jobs now!  I know, I can hardly believe it myself.

I have some real work to do. I knew it full well when I was eating that foot-long meatball sub from Subway today.

I can’t help but notice that when I am feeling any sort of negative emotion, I eat like there’s no tomorrow. I don’t eat to sustain my body; instead, I choose food to make myself feel better about not having/taking control of that particular situation.

My reason for the sub sandwich? After much thought, the sandwich is directly correlated to a woman in my life who is having marital trouble and is crossing over moral lines with no regard to who she is hurting. She is affecting me and the relationship I am trying to build with my boyfriend (they work together) and, while I trust him completely, I don’t trust her. I thought of her as a friend before, before I knew what kind of person she was/is; however, when I found out that she tried to put the moves on him a couple of months before she set he and I up for a date, I about lost it. I knew she had cheated on her husband before that time, and is currently doing so with yet another man, but to be so close to it really torks me off.

She and I had a discussion about laying off calling him 24/7 (she was calling him more than me!) and I thought it was settled. She continues to cross the line, by asking him for a ride home from work and asking to borrow his car. It also angers me that she continues to lie to everyone around her, and provide selective information to those who aren’t in a position to make an accurate judgement. My blood is boiling right now……….

I could go on forever about this “lady”, but I better not. Suffice it to say I need to start walking instead of eating a foot-long sandwich to express my negative emotions.

I’ve been dating someone for nearly two months now!  It’s already been a life-changing experience, and I’m so glad I found someone nice.  His name is David (Dave).

A friend of mine from the mothers internet board I belong to is trying to set me up with a co-worker of hers.

I had been emailing and chatting with him online to begin with, mostly because I was nervous about talking to him since I haven’t really been “dating” for so long. I’m not sure how long we talked the first time on the phone last weekend, but he did answer some questions I had posed to him in a previous email. It was light-hearted and he laughed a lot – he seems to do that, and right now it’s hard to tell whether it’s nervous laughter or something else. Guess I’ll find out when I meet him. One of the questions I asked him had something to do with his biggest pet peeve. He said he guessed he had two, and one really struck an “uh-oh” chord with me: he said (in basic translation) he likes to keep a tidy house. Yeah, um, that’s not me in the slightest. Has anyone been to my house? Has anyone been in my car? Definite “uh-oh” there! Hmmm…

The longest conversation we’ve had went on for about hour two days ago. I found out so much more about him than he had been letting on in previous conversations, and that makes me feel good… almost like he’s able to trust me, which is huge, considering where he’s come from the past couple of years.

He told me I can call him anytime – this after I originally texted him asking if I could call because I couldn’t sleep. I told him I didn’t want to be a pest, and he assured me I wouldn’t be a pest if I called. Very cool.

We’re supposed to meet this Sunday afternoon. I like that I have been brave enough to put myself out there, and I’m feeling comfortable that Sunday’s meeting will go well just because we have already started building a rapport with each other. If this works out, I will have my friend to thank. If it doesn’t work out to be a match in relationship standards, I hope I will have made a wonderful new friend. Only time will tell.

“Create beauty in our lives and homes” Proverbs 31:22

I’m in a housekeeping funk. I have used FlyLady’s “routine” before, and have come away with a lot of good, basic ideas I can use for my family. I did try to do the emails, but they were getting out of hand for me and so I’ve got a household notebook now that I’m trying to “build” with routines that I can refer to until I get them down pat.

What I am finding in myself is a situation very similar to what Sheya describes: working a full time job with small children makes it very easy to come home absolutely exhausted and say, “I’m too tired to do (this or that)…” And, of course, there is the excuse that I’m a single mom and it’s sooooo tiring driving to work and school and keep up on my housework alllllll by myselllllllf. (Can you hear the whining in my voice?) My mom told me last night that if I can’t have the President over, my house isn’t clean enough. This frustrated me, because I grew up in a house with six children and two parents, and our house was NEVER that clean.

Do you think it is different when you have two children as opposed to six? or does it depend on the attitude of the parent and what he/she instills in him/herself and the rest of the family? Maybe that’s the funk I’m in… maybe my attitude needs an adjustment…

Attitude problem or not, I believe it’s true that how you keep your house is how you keep your life. I am constantly forgetting something, or losing something, thus creating more stress in my life than is otherwise necessary… so it is my goal for 2008 that I put more effort into creating consistant beauty in our life and home.

Found another post today on the NazNet forums that sparked a thought or two. Jim Franklin posed the question:

“How often do you have friends and relatives into your home?”

My response:

“Not often enough. With my tight budget, I seem to think I can’t “afford” to have friends and family over. I’m silly.”

The post got me thinking… is there a way to entertain on a very tight budget? After all, I’d really like to have friends and family over to my place more often. So, I set out to scour the best ideas for entertaining on a budget… I have no excuse to not entertain in my home, because here’s what I found.

My all-time favorite lady, Rachael Ray, has a great menu for an inexpensive New Year’s Eve bash (I’d totally use this one for any bash, though!):

Low-Budget New Year’s Bash

She also has plenty of other easy party ideas – check them out here on her website, or subscribe to her magazine !

Being Virtuous Women shares:

Entertaining doesn’t have to be extravagant, expensive or a huge ordeal.

Good Ol’-Fashioned Cook Out

Have guests bring their lawn chairs, their choice of meat (enough for their family) to cook over an open fire or a grill, and a dish to pass for a lovely time of fellowshipping in the great outdoors. Things you may provide for your guests: condiments, drinks (such as: water, iced tea, and lemonade) and a dessert.

Ice Cream Hymn-Sing

What is more heavenly than to hear the Lord’s people gathering together to sing of the goodness of their King? Invite friends over for an evening of singing and afterwards a time of fellowship over a bowl of ice cream (buckets of ice cream can be gotten for very little cost or you can make homemade ice cream!). You can also provide lemonade and iced tea to drink, if you so desire.

Game Night

I don’t know about your family, but we love to play games! On several occasions we have enjoyed inviting families over for a night of games and popcorn. Again, you can also provide lemonade and iced tea, if you so desire.

Potluck Dinner

You may desire to have someone over for dinner after church. Why not have them bring their Sunday dinner over to your home and you can enjoy your Sunday meals together? Things you may provide: rolls, dessert, drinks.

Chef Michele has some more ideas:

Keep It Casual – Plan simple fare. Opt for a simpler meal rather than a fancy multi course affair.

Check your stock – Take a look in your pantry and see what you have on hand before you plan your menu. Plan your meal around such staples as pastas, rice or beans.

Check the sale flyers – See what your local grocers have on sale, this is a great way to make the most of seasonal items. It is also the best way to cut down the cost of more expensive items such as meats and cheeses.

Go vegetarian – Serve your guests a meatless meal. Not only can vegetarian meals be less expensive, they are healthier and lighter too. The highest priced items for many recipes such as meats, cheese, sour cream and cream or butter are often the most unhealthy.

Ease up on the appetizers – Have your meal almost ready to serve when guests arrive and prepare only one simple appetizer.

Serve a simple dessert – Seasonal fresh fruit with a simple topping of homemade whipped cream is not only elegant, it is good for you and a welcome refreshment to a full stomach.

Be creative – If you need to decorate for your dinner party, visit a local dollar store. You can find everything from candles, beautiful decorative vases, and dishes. Keep things simple yet elegant.

Bella Online’s guest author, Rhonda Cliett, offered these tips:

Plan your menu at least a week ahead of time, if possible.

Watch the store sales flyers and make adjustments to your menu according to what is on sale that week.

When planning your menu, take advantage of items that you already have on hand. If you previously stocked up on lasagna noodles, now would be the time to use them.

If your guests ask what they can bring don’t give them the standard “just yourself.” Instead, let them bring an item from your menu. Easy items for guests to bring are: wine, loaf of bread or rolls, gourmet sodas or teas, fruit juice, vegetable tray, fruit and cheese tray, relish tray, dips, or ice.

Make sure some of your items can be prepared a day or two ahead of time. If all of your items have to be prepared on the day of the party you might be tempted to use too many expensive convenient items rather than preparing items inexpensively from scratch.

If one of your guests has special dietary needs, take this into consideration when planning your menu for the entire party. It is less expensive to prepare a sugar free dessert for the entire party rather than to prepare two desserts, one sugar free and one not.

Your main dish does not have to be made from the most expensive ingredients. Many people feel they have not adequately prepared a meal if the main dish is anything less than lobster and caviar, for instance. If you really must serve an ingredient such as lobster, include it in the salad or in a vegetable dish. This will allow you to buy less of the expensive ingredient.

Take advantage of seasonal fruits and vegetables. They not only will add more freshness to your meal, but they will be less expensive since they are in-season.

Most importantly, keep a list of inexpensive recipes and menu ideas handy. Obviously, the best way to cut costs on your entertaining is to prepare foods that are relatively inexpensive. Having the recipes already on hand will not only save you time but it will prevent you from being tempted to prepare more expensive dishes because you cannot find anything else.

While I was visiting the NazNet forums just now, I came across a post by Joanne Vergin that really spoke to me. God has a positive answer for everything.

My parents are here from New Jersey, and I’m excited about their time here. For about a week, they will stay with my brother and his family; the rest of the time they are here will be spent with me and my kids. My parents moved to the east coast about two years ago – it’s become easier building a relationship with them as they’ve been gone, but I miss being able to drive “home” and hug them.

Pretty soon, I’ll take a shower and get ready to pick up my kids from their dad’s house before we run off to church and Christmas Eve dinner at my grandmother’s house. This is my dad’s side of the family, and it’s always a big affair as my dad is the second child of six. It’s a pretty interesting turn of events, because both my grandparents are only children. I have nine cousins on this side of my family (add to that the six children from my mom and dad), so there are 15 grandchildren and four great-grandchildren. We’re going to have a packed house!

Here’s hoping all of you have a very merry Christmas and a prosperous New Year.

I joined eharmony the other day.

According to the website, “eHarmony is America’s #1 trusted relationship service. The company was founded by one of America’s most well known relationship experts, best-selling author and clinical psychologist Dr. Neil Clark Warren.

Building on its enormous success matching compatible singles, eHarmony launched a revolutionary new service in 2006 to help couples achieve stronger, healthier and happier marriages. eHarmony Marriage is a personalized, interactive, online “marriage wellness” program designed to help marriages flourish by building a deepened sense of understanding, appreciation and connectedness. eHarmony Marriage gives every couple the opportunity to look at their marriage objectively and increase the joy and intimacy in a private, practical and positive program.”

It’s been quite interesting thus far. I’ve been “introduced” to quite a number of men in the little time I’ve been a member there, and most of them aren’t that bad! I don’t know what I was expecting, but it seems to be a very good process… much better than what I’ve seen on other on-line dating sites.

I’m still pondering if this is an effective way to meet quality men. Sure, I “meet” people on-line (mostly a local mothers group) and talk about my life, but the purpose for relationship building is completely different than looking for a compatible partner. With on-line “dating”, you have to worry about psychos… and now that I have children, I have to be even more careful about what I am doing and with whom.

I guess I’m smart enough to keep my eyes wide open, and make wise decisions… so I’ll give it a whirl. I plan on being very cautious about the process, but feel it’s definitely time to move forward with meeting new people and getting on with my life.

Here’s what I have for my profile, it’s a work in progress…

1. What are you most passionate about? I am most passionate about music.

2. What are the THREE things for which you are MOST thankful? My children, my family, my job.

3. Other than your parents, who has been the most influential person in your life and why? My friend, Beth. We have been friends for over 15 years, and she knows me almost as well as my mother.

4. The four things your friends say about you are: caring, loyal, good listener, funny.

5. What are three of your BEST life-skills? Using humor to make friends laugh, raising and/or caring for children, being a good friend and companion.

6. What is the most important quality that you are looking for in another person? Honesty.

7. Other than your appearance, what is the first thing that people notice about you? I’m bubbly!

8. What is the ONE thing that people DON’T notice about you right away that you WISH they WOULD? I’m a smart cookie.

9. How do you typically spend your leisure time? I enjoy being with my friends in my spare time.

10. What are five things that you “can’t live without?” My kids, music, my computer, friends, family.

11. Describe the last book that you read and enjoyed. What was it about? What did you like most about it? A book entitled _This is Not Chick Lit_… it’s a compilation of stories written by various authors.

12. Describe one thing about yourself that only your best friends know. I sing karaoke. Ha!

13. Is there any additional information you would like your matches to know about you? I have a dry sense of humor at times.